Beckian Therapy

A Disclaimer:

Mon, 30 Jul 2007 06:23:51 GMT

Those that know me know that sometimes I clam-up. I sometimes cannot help getting in a mood and acting like a wack tardo. I'm sure most of you have experienced it; most recently the wonderful friends I was with post giants game yesterday. I'm glad it doesn't happen that much because I don't like it either, as i'm sure some of you don't.
There is no constant reason for these swings, just a lot of junk, but it is important that people know that it's me dealin' not you wheelin'. This is an apology for the way blind way I treat people durring the past moods. Its real immature and selfish. Ima work on it.
what can you do?
nada. i guess just let me work it out. hopefully it wont happen anytime soon.

Keepin' it real.

Tue, 24 Jul 2007 08:10:06 GMT

Hello.
I imagine I will feel differently in a fortnight, but the anxiety hasn't hit me yet about moving to Portland. To be frank, I'm not even excited yet. Just neutral right now. Just something I have to do by the end of the month, like get new glasses or something similar. I told my parents, so It's pretty certian that I am moving. If I back out I will get branded as 'ol Connor who never commits to anythin'. My mother and I had a good talk about it the other day and she started crying, which is understandable, but this move is long overdue. I know its necessary but that necesity doesn't come from anxiety or excitement as I said before. It's odd, but I can't put my thumb on what it is that is pushing me.
I know this is big. I'm leaving the house that I grew up in, inside this wonderful small town that I know so well surrounded by amazing scenery and landmarks that are second nature and all the friends I made as well as all the adventures we had. God, I loved it here.
I'm afraid that this will be the last summer of my "childhood". If it is the case then I want to make the best of it.
Lets:
- put more couches on hills
- go to Bass Lake
- cutty night mischs'
- satchel full 'o' 40's
- camp on nats p's property in Bolinas
- Bikeride to Bartons
- Hang out in DTSA at night (its deserted, man)
- Sit in my room and listen to records
- Hike to the beach from Mt. Tam (so down)
- Wildcard*

I love everyone who reads this.

*this is reserved for anyone thinks of something real legit that I forgot.

Mon, 25 Jun 2007 08:57:11 GMT

I realized today that I own a large amount of records. I haven't used most of them enough. Learning this instigated the action of me somewhat rearranging things in my room to make it more accomodating for record listening. Once done, I pulled out all of the Red Krayola I have and listened to it. Damn good. Lydia Lunch's 'Queen of SIAM" is an amazing record. I was astounded. I guess buying things blindly can pay off in the end.
I got my bike fixed.
Bomb BBQ at K Marsh's.
This is really funny:

I am going to make an effort to listen to all my records this summer. Join me, why don't you?
Take off your coat, stay for a while.

Wed, 13 Jun 2007 09:23:19 GMT

Today was particularly sunny and phresh outside. Since my bicycle is in the hospital I have reverted to riding my fly skateboard around town. Today, I hit up some cutty backroad action with my skateboard "Sam". I haven't used him in quite a long time, so one could say that I rode down Memory Lane with him. I rather like riding a skateboard for it presents an added activity im not prone to while riding a bike: scanning the sidewalk for large pebbles. Some would assume that this task is daunting and would likley merit a bent nose if performed badly, but I look at it as the pavement's way of administering psychological tests to scare me into being sane and quick-witted. Its fun. Its a great acomplishment when done right. I thought I was a gonner when I rode past Yolonda Station; construction zone; pebbles all over like U.S. troops on Normandy; but I rode unscathed and ate a bomb cookie* at Barton's as a reward.

Items, Ideas, and cipher's that are keeping me heading up-river:
- poorly-made guitars
- the music of Terry Riley
- 6/15/07
- the dust in thrift shops between records
- Baconian Cipher
- Introducing people I know to one another

* The cookie mentioned was 1/2 intended for Becky. Upon review, I blame the excitement of ingestion for my disregard of her request. I honestly did not hear her say that she wanted to dome 1/2.

Man, the Giants are leGIT.

Sun, 27 May 2007 09:14:16 GMT

summer has started.
legit

Tue, 17 Apr 2007 04:00:08 GMT

My day just got tons better because i just beat Street Fighter 2. I would've rather played Street Fighter 2 turbo, but my friends didn't have that game.

vega is a little bitch.
sliding kicks are for little spanish pansys.

chun-li's spinning-star kick, so legit.

i have to go meet j-hop.

oh, thanks to noah, nats, marshdog, skopp, and becksauce for an amazing week. I am very fortunate to have such loving and accomodating friends. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life as your great friend. I love you guys a whole heap.

Love,
Connor

Good Weekend

Mon, 02 Apr 2007 03:45:28 GMT

Thursday evening i got off work and Noah, J, Sam and EM-Mentz stopped by. ended up speaking in southern accents, hey that was odd.
next morning went to costco with the same party (sans sam), got some pol film and bomb churros, as well as some samples. went back to the herse played soccer for a bit in front and then just sat outside with noah, wyatt and cass. then catherine stopped by as well as hannah. that was fun just sitting and talking on da lawn. den ari stops by and we get the idea to go into fairfax and get "big gulp" cups, fill them with beer and then drink them. so ari, wyatt, noah and i walk into up to the pavillion and watch the little league game from up there as we drink. hecksa fun stat. Denal comes by to chat. then we notice we are being scoped out by da po po. illegit. we go into the creek and drink there for a bit and walk to fairfix where we get bomb sandos and then walk back to the herse for me to get picked up to se Ratatat. it was a real fun concert. lots of dancing and moshpitting and stagediving.
satudray i get up and walk to white elephant sale, ran into em and deja there. the sale wasnt that good so we bounced to sams where he coerces me to go to the dump with him. i do then we get mi pueb. then to drake to see the 100th birthday of san an being a town. kinda lame, get some cake and bounce to sams to take a nap. then em and sam and i go to scandia for ariel harrisons b-day. so bomb. i make it to level 5 in street fighter. rel good. then back to marin, pick up j and go to sams for bomb bbq. then i go to watch an improv show. kinda not legit, some funny parts but ive seen better shows. then to marin brew co. where sam and j meet me. we have a couple of beers and then they leave. i leave shortly afterwards.
i wanna have the summer.

Wed, 07 Mar 2007 08:14:59 GMT

for the rest of my life, "Uncommon Ritual" by Edgar Meyer will be one of my favorite records.

Thu, 08 Feb 2007 20:43:31 GMT

Fuck, i wanna see the knife live. but they no tour round here no mo.

Wed, 10 Jan 2007 09:55:28 GMT

I wish a lot of things i think about were true. I know everything takes mucho time, "long haul" as a great friend of mine puts it. But its just that i want everything right now. i don't want to wait for music or berkeley or loving someone so much it hurts. I need all of it, but cant have it because of fucking barriers or impenetrable forcefeilds like in "Independence Day". the only people that can help are being protected by these barriers so nothing can happen, unless they act upon it. and that gets confusing.
it keeps on not happening.
love,
connor maguire

turkey.

Sat, 09 Dec 2006 09:03:29 GMT

its only music now.

Sat, 02 Dec 2006 02:23:57 GMT

I was just thinking about how insane it is that parrots can speak . that is just so amazing to me, they don't get enought cred yo.

Tue, 28 Nov 2006 08:00:03 GMT

WACK!

Wed, 25 Oct 2006 16:42:47 GMT

JOANNA NEWSOM AT THE GREAT AMERICAN MUSIC HALL DECEMBER 19 AND 20.

Wed, 25 Oct 2006 07:15:15 GMT

I had a very good day today, journal.

we will see what happens. I'll keep you informed.

I miss everyone i have ever met.

Anybodys?

Tue, 10 Oct 2006 00:19:20 GMT

who needs to think when your feet just go?

Mon, 25 Sep 2006 07:35:41 GMT

I am just so like happy right now.
BK - so good.

i wanna do that for a living. play.
i'm gunna work at it.

goodbye for a while.

Thu, 07 Sep 2006 02:58:13 GMT

i got a new phone, cuz the old one broke.
so now i have no ones phone number.
and i cant remember anyones.
so leave it, or rather call me then i'll have it if you dont want your number on the net.

Tue, 05 Sep 2006 05:48:15 GMT

As much as I like school or as much as I like challenging myself, I must say that this past summer was just so much fun. Thanks Seth for being there to talk and helping out with my everlonging wish to introduce all my friends to one another. You continue to be the only 'lost boy' that has willed to do that. Speaking of 'lost boys' thank them for putting me in their zombie movie. Also thanks to Alex Kerr for 24 and all those cute sodas and that great two week period where your parents were out of town. B-Hough. Thanks Coco and Allana had a lot of late night fun rendezvous to your house. B-Hop, I can't pin down the point of the summer where I laughed the hardest but i'm sure you were behind it. Oh wait, it was probably that night with you, noah and I in front of the herseys with that moustache. Noah and Dyll, dang now thats a good team. That night on d-hill with the new castle was a highlight of my summer. Ellis, getting in to see Mose Allison was another hightlight, thanks man. Aubyn that first month was amaze, then i don't know what happened, but i liked the way things ended. Mike OK that night in my car in front of the herseys was so fun with the star wars jokes. Ian A also helped with the intermingling of friend groups(wink wink). Jane thanks for an educational experience that i will learn from, i am becoming a better man. Jeph thanks for keeping reality in my eyes. Natalie, sucha a good friend, always down for stuff. dig it. Greenleigh, the bar scene was nice. Laura thanks for the rides from video droid. McEvoy yeah! we partied! finally! on that guys deck, remember? Rachel that week before camp was so good, and the absence made the presence that more enjoyablle. sam thanks for those parties and getting pipe tabacco with me. Slates. Teague we always have two tons of fun. j-hop that goes for you too, that night you left with the babies and that polaroid was another highlight. Keith thanks for those knocks on my window. Spence oh yeah and Annie you were in Europe, but for the 3 weeks you have been back...well i guess we were in school, but they were great. and becksauce, thanks for being da bomb.

I didnt have this in mind, to write a thank you speech. it just started.

if you all have favorite summer memories please share them. cuz im sure i have more i just cant think of them.
have a great sleep.

Sun, 03 Sep 2006 23:11:07 GMT

See here. These are all shows that I plan on attending.
Are y'interested?

9/7/06 - Vashti Bunyan with Brightblack Morning Light
The Great American Music Hall - $20
Vashti Bunyan is a British folk icon. She made only one album in the 70's and took a 35 year break and now came out with a new album last year and is working a lot with Animal Collective.

9/9/06 - Thee More Shallows
The Bottom of the Hill - $10

9/17/06 - The Queers, The Hard Ons, The Groovie Ghoulies
Cafe Du Nord - $10

9/18/06 - Ratatat with Envelopes and Panther
The Great American Music Hall - $13
Don't know much about Evelopes or Panther but I plan on finding out, dig?
Plus the show is as cheap as hell is cheap.

9/22/06 - Andrew Bird with Cass McCombs
The Great American Music Hall - $16
Andrew Bird is a fiddle-playin' whistler.

9/24/06 - Ben Kweller with Sam Roberts Band
The Fillmore - $22.50
You know, you know.

10/20/06 - Beirut with A Hawk and a Hacksaw
The Great American Music Hall - $13
Balkan Gypsy music with some folk and Eastern European sounds. Dudes like a meltin' pot, yaaou.

10/25/06 - Bert Jansch
The Great American Music Hall - $18
WTF!?!!?!!!? This is weird. A good weird. A ledgend.

long and short.

Fri, 01 Sep 2006 02:09:52 GMT

No, I'm not colorblind
I know the world is black and white
Try to keep an open mind
but, just can't sleep on this tonight

Stop this train
I wanna get off and go home again
I can't take the speed its movin' in
I know I can't, but honestly
won't someone stop this train

Don't know how else to say it
don't wanna see my parents go
One generation's led the way
for finding life out on my own.

So scared of gettin' older
I'm only good at being young
So I play the numbers game
to find a way to say that life has just begun

Had a talk with my old man
said help me understand
he said 'turn 58
you renegotiate
Don't stop this train
Don't for a minute change the place you're in
Don't think I couldn't ever understand
I tried my hand
but, honestly
we'll never stop this train'.

Once in a while
when its good
it'll feel like it should
and they're all still around
and you're still safe and sound
and you don't miss a thing
till you cry when you're driving away in the dark
singing stop this train
I wanna get off and go home again
I can't take the speed it's movin' in
I know I can, cuz now i see
I'll never stop this train.

dang.

Tue, 22 Aug 2006 05:44:16 GMT

I think pronouns make things worse. they are inspecific and give people the opportunity to veil or code something instead of just being honest.
Pronouns take the blame out of a person and assign to "everyone" or "someone" rather than 'bill" or "charlie" or "tania" or "connor" or "ingrid".

this is more about the use. not the actual words themselves. pronouns are great otherwise.

Wed, 02 Aug 2006 08:00:18 GMT

I wish my older brother was more like an older brother. He's great, love him, but its all the crust and mantle I get. I haven't seen any inner core or outer core. I just wish that I can ask him for advice on things going on in my life. Its not that I need it right now, its just some good aflac to have. Nice to know its there. I've never had a problem with admiting to need help. That burden was laid upon some other maguire siblings (i don't mean you). Everyone could use some help. Everyone should have intention to help, and if they don't help the situation, whatevs, people will feel better. I think I play dumb a lot of the time. Because it's easier, I guess. but i have answers. I have things to give people, love & trust. I aint no lost cause, bitch.

I hate being so hot and cold sometimes.

I wanna sip my brandy, crack my knuckles and go to town.

Tue, 01 Aug 2006 18:20:03 GMT

ok, after looking into the polaroid thing further, the situation is not as dire as i thought.
sorry for the, you know.
ok

for all dem graphers.

Tue, 01 Aug 2006 05:59:46 GMT

I went to berkley today and spoke to the proprieter of "something " photo, and he informed me that Polaroid had gone out of buisness. Meaning there is only so much film left in the world and the number is getting smaller. STOCK UP YAOU!!!
im leavin' .